"A succinct corrolary to Freud's wordy observation is "Expectation is the mother of disappointment." When we expect too much happiness from one part of our lives (a person, a career, marriage, parenthood, material items), that one part is destined to disappoint us. Life is far too rich and diverse and ever-changing to allow for this sort of narrow anticipation.
Plus, when we suffer the extreme disappointment that follows extreme expectation, we might grow bitter and angry. I have known several people whose bitterness and anger made me wonder what sort of disappointment they had suffered, what kind of happiness they had anticipated and failed to receive."
Saw this on Susan's blog "Simplicity" and it rang true to what is happening in my life and to my soon to be ex. A good friend gave me a "man's" point of view on what is happening with my ex. He put all his hopes and dreams in one area and when it crashed and burned how it manifested in his reaction isn't always predictable or the best solution. In my ex's case it was thinking another women would make him happy. Yes, I now hope this solution will work for him because his angry and bitterness is taking it's toll on both of us.
For me, I'm past the angry and the hurt. Still dealing with the sadness of losing everything, including a relationship of 33 plus years but I know it's part of the spiritual death process and I have to keep moving toward the positive light that is ahead of me. Yes, women handle it differently. There are many new things ahead of me as scary as it is to start over at 54, I'm excited to forge ahead with Annie wagging her tail at my side.
I'm thankful for:
- My friends being there for support 24/7
- The great foster family that is taking care of Annie for me at night.
- A job that supports me both financially but more importantly supports me emotionally and offer me a safe quiet place to be me.
- A good cup of double chocolate mocha - my new go to stress deduction fuel.
- To the new home that is in my future.